his brother makes fun of me. i make fun of him back.
his mom laughs at the silliness.
make plans to have lunch and go to a bookstore with his fiance.
his friends and i message back and forth. make plans to go to shows together.

i feel...accepted in the best way. its those small moments that it feels like life has these moments where everything is just perfect.

just makes me think about when he told me to come home to him.
hm..home..to him. a concept i think i always wanted but finally have in some way?
his home..but he wants me to treat it as if it were mine as well.
i remember him texting me once, saying "once you come home..." meaning to his house..but to my home. i was caught off guard at first. cried to him in the middle of the street about not knowing where my home is these days yet he held me tighter and said to call his home my home and to always come home to him.

i will always come home to you, whether its your house, my dorm or someday our own apartment and home. my home is in your arms <3

holy wars

it started off because i was bored, "stumble" for a bit, then get back to homework. i know i have alot to do but i just cant concentrate sometimes. i came across a quote, said something about not wanting to sleep bc finally, reality is better then your dreams. i cant believe that for the first time, i feel that way. each time im blessed to fall asleep next to him, the love of my life, my best friend. id go as far to say my everything.

for once, i dont want to sleep because id rather stay up. talk to him, kiss him or just enjoy his company even if we are in complete silence. hm, silence. for us, a rare event. after 8 years of being my best friend, we still havent run out of things to talk about. how does that make sense? 8 years, you get to know so much about a person yet each and everyday you still learn something new.

as iv said a million times, i want to blog again. i think best with words, i can express myself better through a written form then saying it to someones face. its not shy or being scared, not all the time, just a way for me to think and get all of my thoughts out at once.

brandon though, hes something else. can never get him out of my head. he means so much to me. id marry him today if i could and i know as many times, joking or serious he asks me to marry him, the answer will always and forever be yes. he is the one i want. the one i will spend the rest of my life with. that silly face, i want to see it every single day. at this point, i cant even remember a day not knowing him.

i know we both got nervous in the past, dated other people. got scared of being together. it doesnt matter anymore. all that matters is he has my entire heart. i think he always has, i just wasnt ready to realize it until now. trust me though, this time, im not walking away. the only place i want to be is in his arms, that is where i belong and that is where i will stay.

no one can make me laugh the way he does. 6 years later and i still get butterflies when he kisses me. i love the sweet notes he leaves in my books or around my room. i find them when i really need them. whenever im in my dorm, i can look over and remember standing outside to see him, he came up behind me. wrapped his arms around me and handed me lilies as he kissed me on the cheek. he remembered my favorite flower and just feeling his arms wrap around me like that is the best feeling in the world.

one of the best parts of us being together is how everyone gets along. i love his family, his brothers and fiance are great. parents always welcome me into their home. my family adores him. even my dad liked him. we both get along with each others friends which is just amazing. dani never minds him around and i always like being around his friends. the more  i spend time with his friends, the more i become comfortable around them.

i finally got to meet his old friend tommy. i know how much brandon cares about him and looks up to him in ways. tommy honestly really nice. it surprised me though, when he turned to me and said brandon and i look cute together and hes happy brandon came to his senses and got me back. what did he mean by that? pretty sure i had never met or spoken to tommy before. brandon must have mentioned our relationship thingg sometime in the past. but for someone that has known brandon just a bit longer than i have to say that about us means alot.

i had such a good time last night hanging out with everyone. i remember when tommy said that he respects brandon and if im his girl, then he respects me too. hmm. his girl. an interesting way of saying things. honestly, i love being called his girl as silly as that sounds. its kinda like when i look over at brandon and he gives me a smile that i sometimes makes my heart melt and feel like im falling for him all over again.

how incredible it is to be in love with your best friend. to be so attracted to someone in everyway. no matter how much time we spend together, the second we arent, i miss him. just hearing his voice makes my day. sometimes i wrap my arms around him and dont want to let go. my favorite place in the world is laying in his bed next to him with his arms wrapped around me as i fall asleep on his chest.

i love you so much brandon <3